You Know What? You Are Right

I love to argue. Well, I used to love to argue. I used to love proving to everyone that they were wrong. That I knew better.

For me, arguing was almost a sport. It was like arm-wrestling intellectually.

Over time, I observed three things.

The first is I learned not all people have my patience. A lot of people would simply give up mid-argument. Not because I got my point across. They just didn’t have the patience to continue debating. This often left an awkward vacuum behind.

The second thing I noticed was that people not even involved in the argument were getting affected by it. Arguments bring tension. I never felt it, but I could tell people around me did.

The third thing is, after years of arguing, I learned it’s virtually impossible to convince most people by arguing. Ego tends to drive arguments, not facts.

The worst kind of arguments is online arguments. Why waste time and patience trying to convince a total stranger they are wrong?

My only hope when arguing with strangers is someone else reads my replies and doesn’t fall for, say, anti-vaxxer propaganda.

Arguing when I know something (or someone) is wrong is in my nature. This means not arguing isn’t easy for me. I do, however, care about the people around me. I also care about my time. So I’m practicing backing down.

I don’t have to win every single argument. It doesn’t even matter all that much if I do or don’t. And if someone says otherwise, well, we’re going to have to argue about it.

Published by eranboudjnah

A software consultant and tech lead. Passionate about optimizing as many aspects of my life as possible, to free time for what really matters.

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