To Find Love, Stop Seeking You Must

When I was young, I remember relationships seemed beyond reach to me. Everyone seemed to have a girlfriend but me. I was frustrated.

The years passed, and I’ve had a few reasonably long relationships. More importantly, I am now happily married and could honestly not have asked for better.

I spent a lot of time thinking about how I ended up here. I really wanted to share my experience in the hope it could help others.

I finally reached a conclusion. Almost every single thing that worked out for me in life, came when I wasn’t hungry for it. I know it seems counter-intuitive at first. When you think about it, though, it makes sense.

Investors find you more appealing when you’re not desperate. Your future spouse is likely not to be drawn to you if you seem to eager. The distress is a warning sign, and people detect it and keep their distance.

And so, my humble advice is this: before looking for a relationship, be happy with yourselves. Appreciate the value of being alone. Don’t concentrate on finding the one. When you feel complete, they will come. This works in business, too. Stabilise your business before inviting others in.

Not only will it make you more attractive, but you will be negotiating from a position of strength. So, my young padawan, stop searching. It is within you that you will find that which you seek. And may the force be with – sorry, got carried away again.

Published by eranboudjnah

A software consultant and tech lead. Passionate about optimizing as many aspects of my life as possible, to free time for what really matters.

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